It was a bright sunny morning. Martin awoke early as he always did. He had breakfast then set off in the 4×4 to the far side of his land. He liked to walk there with his dog, Goff. Turning into the field he notice that a travellers encampment had taken up residence. He got out of the vehicle and let Goff out the back. They started off across the field. A traveller approached him and said, “ Don’t let that dog off in here”.
“Why not?” says Martin.
“Coz I got 4 pit bulls in my van and I will let them out,” he said, “They’ll tear your dog to pieces”.
“Oh,” says Martin and he turns and walks back to his 4×4. Taking the shotgun off the rack behind the seats he breaks the gun and quickly pops two cartridges into the breech. Turning back to the traveller he says, “Go on then let your dogs out, you will be surprised how fast I can reload this gun”.
“Ya mean it don’t ya!” said the man.
“Try me,” said Martin, “You come trespassing on my land and threaten me and my dog. Now you and your mates get off my land else I will let you have both barrels and then I will sort your dogs. Do you understand me?”
The man said nothing, just turned called out to his friends and got in his van and drove out of the field. The others followed him.
Moral of the story? ‘Don’t fuck with Martin’.