Wednesday, 8 May 2013

The Village

          In a small village there is no such thing as privacy. Often the smallest thing can go viral at the drop of a hat. Take Tilley, lovely girl, in her thirties clock ticking away. Her parents have had a boat here for many years. In fact she herself has a boat. She bought it last year. Max the local boat fixer did the Safety Cert and advised Tilley on its value. After the purchase Max helped to do those things that needed doing to make it comfortable. (Comfort, not being a part of the Safety Cert). I am not sure if Tilley and Max were together before the purchase or not, but they certainly were after.
          Well anyway it was some time later that the relationship went sour. Both of them are strong independent types, but Max likes to be in charge. Tilley was having none of it. She wants ankle biters and he can’t have them so I suppose the union was doomed to fail.
It was one night last week when I was cycling down to the Jolly that I saw Max head down as usual on his way to the village pub; which as it happened had just been taken over by a new landlord although this has no relevance to the story; I said hello as I cycled past and received a grunt in return. The following day it transpired, whilst talking to RT, that Tilley had just got married. Apparently to someone she met over the interwebbythingy. They had only been in contact three weeks! She felt compelled to tell Max before he heard it from anyone else, but of course that broke his heart. This was shortly before he grunted at me. Of course RT telling me was like God giving Moses the stone tablets soon everyone knew. With the aid of my mobile I doubt there was a house in the village that didn’t know in 15 minutes.
          What I found most surprising was that when I saw Max dog walking the next morning with Lilly, I was none the wiser, I hadn’t yet come by the knowledge that RT imparted to me later that day. But my telling Lilly was a non-starter because Max had told her on their walk. She knew! Can you believe she ‘forgot’ to mention it? “Call ya self a woman,” I said, “fine gossip you are. Biggest story since I got banned from using the club pump out and you said nothing!” Well OK it wasn’t the biggest story but I don’t want to tread on any toes, you know how it is. Although … Max being dumped by Jean after his return from America was quite big news here, slightly surpassed by the fact that he had a vasectomy because Jean didn’t want anymore kids which is the reason he can’t give Tilley a child … or anyone else for that matter.
          And today there I am walking Molly past Tilley’s parents boat and I get invited on board and introduced to the new hubby, Roland who, though shorter, is not unlike Max, except he doesn’t have that most annoying laugh, well cackle really. What an opportunity! Couldn’t resist telling my friend, she was surprised originally when I told her about the wedding. This socialising was great news to her. Now she knows she will call Tilley with congratulations.
          This is such a quiet village nothing ever happens here.

1 comment:

Val Poore said...

I enjoyed this! Gentle irony. Lovely.